Quality over Quantity

Although Patricia and I have been friends since we were FIVE YEARS OLD, we did not always travel in the same circles. Don’t get me wrong, we were always close - we went to the same elementary and high schools and were bonded by our shared love of art, softball (me recreational, she competitive), Doodle Games, chemistry class and when she turned eighteen seven months before me, I REALLY loved her for her fake ID. (In a little province over the bridge from our hometown the legal age was eighteen…)
I still remember all the details of Patricia’s ID – especially that she’s a Pisces. Bouncers never asked the birthday on the ID, they asked your sign… (Wait, back the truck up… do we really believe a bouncer at a nightclub memorized all the Zodiac signs?? I could have said anything as long as I said it as confidently as a seventeen-year-old with a fake ID could and he would have let me in!... Well played bouncers, well played.)

However, prior to sneaking into nightclubs was on the agenda, my favorite Saturdays were spent in the summers during high school when about twelve to fifteen of us would meet at someone’s house and pile onto the city bus that would then take us downtown. We’d spend the whole day doing nothing and everything… running around the children’s area of a museum (we foolishly thought we were too big for the kids section, little did we know then, we were still kids…), hanging around in the parks, trolling the mall, laughing, sunning ourselves by the water, strengthening friendships and flirting… good gawd, so much flirting.

The thing about school in the 1990s was that the only way to make friends and stay friends was to meet people in person. MAYBE you talked on the phone first? But you were introduced through mutual friends, playing sports, in drama school, art classes, through your parents or brothers and/or sisters, at a party (or on a school bus one cold Canadian winter morning…)

And then once you assessed and decided you wanted to let this person into your weird little world, you had to make plans, time and effort, show up, be accountable… and guess what? They would do that for you too. We didn’t have hundreds of friends or thousands of followers (maybe one of your younger siblings followed you around, maybe…)

There was way more to it than a "click" or "swipe"...

But the extra effort required to make friends back in the '90s was totally worth it because the friends we did have held up to the Grade 3 lesson taught to us by Ms. Zandler in an attempt to help us remember the spelling:

“Fri-to-the-end with a friend.”

Okay, so it doesn't make a ton of sense, but you get it… friends to the end. (And I have never misspelled "friend" since that lesson.)

All this to say kids, it is not necessarily HOW many friends you have, but WHO those friends are and how they show up for you. Everyone loves a “like” on a post, or a comment on a photo - but who do you call when life REALLY shows up at your front door? Whose text do you NEVER ignore – and then call if they don’t text you back after a certain amount of time because the only reason they wouldn’t text you back is because they’re dead!

Or better yet, who do you call? You go to text them and think, "No, they deserve a telephone call." God bless, that’s a friend right there ladies and gentleman. And, if someone calls YOU over sending a text?

Sounds like you have yourself a friend there.

Love,
Grace